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Yeah, you're pretty sure you have some fairly astounding untapped mental capabilities and you're not about to let this whirlwind of animal parts and poop tear you limb from limb. As the storm whips you higher and higher into the air, you calmly furrow your brow and place an index finger on each temple. Seconds pass. You begin to hear strange incantations emanating from your left hip region and just like that, you suddenly find yourself skimming low over dark and choppy water on a half-formed carpet of invertebrate exoskeletons, fossilized demon dung and owl pellets culled from the storm. Tears of joy skitter across your face.
  1. Rejoice and hum your favorite Enya tune.
  2. Try to determine the source of those incantations.
  3. Take a flying dung carpet nap. You deserve it.





by Tom Sebring